If only..

"In life God does not give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need; to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to make you cry, to make you laugh, to make you exactly the person that you should be."

"I believe in karma. What you give is what you get returned. I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned. I believe that the grass is greener on the other side. I believe you don't know what you've got until you have to say goodbye."

So I have had one of the worst/ hardest weeks in a very long time. I hate how I blog all the time about how hard of a time i am having but this is the only place i can write what i feel and people understand it. Thanks guys! But yes, I have been in the toughest situations ever in the past couple of days. It really makes me think about how ridiculous some people can be. I always try to learn from my mistakes but it is really hard to learn from something you did not do. Life is all about who you trust sometimes and it is hard when the person you loved/ trusted the most fails. This actually is meaning two different things/ ways right now but I'd rather not share.. so i am sorry if you are very confused (some know) but let me move on..

I am so thankful tomorrow is Sunday.. most everyone knows that Sunday is my favorite day of the week! It seems to fall in the perfect place when either A) I have had the best weekend and I want to thank God for letting me be able to have fun with my friends/ family! or B) It's been a tough week and I want to go to the Lord with my issues and see what he can help me do! I am praying daily for God to send me a friend to give me advice on what to do in some situations.. He always does and never fails & I know he puts them in my life for a reason! Lately, I have been very emotional about a certain situation. I am crying out to my friends to help me but most of them say it's MY situation and MY problem to deal with but we believe in you and you can do it!

I have said this before and I will say it again.. N O O N E will ever prepare you for what lies ahead but God has the options.. College is the hardest experience of my life. I won't lie.

If only I knew how hard it is living without a best friend.

If only I knew that my friends in high school weren't going to be here now

If only I knew how every day things turn into life lessons

If only I knew that I would wake up with my best friend in the room and go to sleep never wanting to talk to her again.

If only I knew who my true friends were/ are.

If only I knew who would be in my future..

If only God would tell me what lies ahead.

If only I could make predictions and they came true.

If only I was there when that happened.

If ony...

NEVER LIVE YOUR LIFE WONDERING IF ONLY... You can not make things happen only God can..